Open Letter to First Energy

Don’t dig up my yard unless you have given me at least two weeks’ worth of notices.

Now, there are a few ways you could go about this. You can call me every day for fourteen days straight. I won’t answer the phone and I certainly will not call you back. I probably won’t even listen to your message, but you could do that.

Another option! Write a postmarked letter to any address you like. Any one at all. Just pick up the nearest copy of the Yellow Pages and send it direct. I may receive it. You might get it back. if you love something, let it go, and if it comes back to you, I probably didn’t want any part of it.

Alright, I understand that we live in the age of misinformation, so if you must send an email, do it. I hope you like the junk folder. It’s pretty crowded and they’re all a little desperate for company, but they’re good people. They can hold a one-sided conversation.

So anyways, now that I feel like I’ve been heard, don’t dig up my yard unless you’ve given me at least two weeks’ worth of notices.

Thank you,

a concerned tenant