Immortal Memo

Attention all heavenly bodies!

Our stores of faith have sunk to supernatural depths. We require hearts and minds to keep up with even subsistence-level miracle production, but we really need the soul to achieve Nirvana.

Remember, we have billions banking on the expansion of their moral savings and a plot in Paradise Fields, but capital gains and fertilization requires an ungodly amount of energy. Over the millennia, we have honed various methods of extraction, but we have found only one reliable fuel source: blood.

So, grab your pitchforks, grease some palms, and get dividing. According to our analysts, they are only DECADES away from reaching clarity, and as we have seen in the past, this cannot be allowed to happen. We must stop their ascent at any cost.

As such, we are unlocking all designations for all spirits, as well as all terrestrial projection devices. Appear wherever, to whomever, as whatever you want. But be sure to sew as much distrust as your coil will allow. Shuffle into and out of multiple forms if that is what will achieve maximum fracture.

The last thing we want is for the human race to realize that all of the ethereal planes are conspiring to keep them from sitting at the table, so be as discreet as possible. We are in dire straits. If they ever fully believe in their own species, we will lose narrative control. This cannot happen.

Ultimately, we have their interests in mind, but we have to remember that humans are just dust mites, clinging to a wet rock.

It’s our job to draw the line.

It’s their job to stay within it.

• mgmt