A Survey
The polities have become averse
to the idea of being cool,
ya know?
Like,
remember when the president played sax,
or when Gorbachev totally tore down those walls,
you know?
Like, when the elves gave their firstborns
to fuel the budding technocracy?
How do you think your screens run?
Those liquid crystals are blood,
my dude!
And ya know why your eyes dry up
after scrolling for too long?
Light?
That’s what they want you to think so they can sell you more of Old Uncle McReedy’s Sleepy Time Eye Droppers!
It’s because your brain can’t take all that gore,
Clockwork Orange style.
Your soul can feel the screams
of a million elven babies
who were siphoned into that shiny brick
that you call a phone,
through a tiny funnel,
just pulsing to the next 5G data center.
Seriously duder,
turn off your tech
and take a look at this Landscape.
When I was a child,
I felt like
I was the only one who mattered.
Now, I’m an adult,
and I’m not convinced
that this was a fallacy.
Toilet paper in the trees,
bottle shards upon the street,
cryptic clouds along the sky,
rain, and not a soul in sight.
I’ve been meaning to ask you,
the internet,
a question.
It’s important.
I promise.
What happened to the cavemen who were left behind when the other cavemen walked to America?
Hm?
OMG!
Try our thing!
It’s free*!
What happens if I’m in a war?
You’d probably be in a war, I guess.
– and the drones are zipping at a higher frequency than your phones because the sheer quantum mass of all those babies is too great to be made silent.
The elves will rise again, my friend!
But bruh, really,
just go to a museum
and look at a landscape or something.
Put that blood diamond away.
* In order to redeem your free offer,
you must provide the following:
full name, alias(s), Social Security number, geo-echolocation serial number, last 20 years of bank statements, right to inheritance, rights to any and all creative properties in all stages of development, indefinite commercial rights to your digital likeness, and soul reproduction.
Thank you for buying free!